Thursday, April 12, 2007

The Nominations Process

After Sir Thomas Jones’ death, the executive committee has decided to open the floor to nominations from outside the Society to become the new President. They have asked that all members now forward the names of suitable applicants before the 31st May. They remind all Society members that the person who takes this post should be forward thinking and represent the very best qualities of thong wearers in the UK.

All nominations should be sent to the Society at the above address, marking them ‘President Nomination’.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Funeral of Sir Thomas Jones

Members of the British Thong Society gathered in London, today, to mark the funeral of long standing Society Chairman, Sir Thomas Jones. In a moving tribute, members threw thongs on the hearse as it passed slowly into the church yard. In the service, earlier, a choir sang Sir Thomas' favourite hymns and current and past members of the BTS executive gave moving tributes to the man who served the cause of thongs for over half a century.

The executive committee will meet next week to discuss Sir Thomas's successor, but today wasn't a time for thinking about the future. It was about the past and all that Sir Thomas had done to take thongs from a minor form of underwear, to a position where it is now worn by kings, queens, and stars of the stage and screen.

Sir Thomas was 98 years old when he died, last week, after a long illness.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Obituary: Sir Thomas Jones

It’s with very great sadness that we announce the death of Sir Thomas Jones, the Thong Society’s honorary president. Sir Thomas died at his home in Kent after a long illness. I am sure we speak for all society members when we say that Sir Thomas will be greatly missed. He provided us with many years of loyal service.

May his buttocks be forever clenched.