Last week's charity football match between a Thong Society 11 versus as team of Thong manufacturers ended with a 2-0 scoreline for our team. We'd like to congratulate the team and captain Dennis Murray, who scored the first goal and set up the second.
'This proves that the thong is as good as an atheletic support when worn correctly,' he told reporters for the Evening Standard, which ran a feature of the event in today's edition.
The football match was in aid of relief for the oldest manufacturer of thongs in East Europe, whose warehouse was recently destroyed in a fire. As guardian of the thong and g-string industry, the Society is forwarding £2,300 to the company as part of an aid package.